Introducing The Author With The Amazing Mustache
Elias Zapple
What
inspired you to write your first book?
My
favourite pet slug, Steve. My faithful companion, attentive listener
to my woes, avid reader of my prose and unfortunate victim of a fatal
lawnmower accident. He inspires me everyday and in every way. His
last words to me were, "Elias, write that children's book, 'Duke
& Michel', it'll be a huge success and children everywhere will
love it. Also, please eat the lettuce in the fridge before it goes
bad."
When
did you start considering yourself a writer?
April
2nd,
1870, the day after I emerged out of a tulip in an old granny’s
garden here in Camberwell.
Out
of the books you've written, which is your favourite?
The
latest is always my favourite. The latest would be Duke & Michel:
The King Tingaling Painting. Being my favourite, I often take it out
to fancy restaurants and buy it tulips.
How
do you feel about being interviewed by a children's book character?
How
do you feel about being interviewed by a slug with an IQ of 190? It’s
terrifying, believe me.
What
are you working on next?
A
new style for my moustache, Mr Snazzy. He refuses to change but I’ll
do it when he’s asleep.
Can
you share a little of your current work with us?
An
extract from my first book, Duke & Michel: The Mysterious
Corridor:
‘Duke
wandered over to a used chocolate wrapper that was by the side of the
road
and sniffed at it.
“Empty.
Just my luck.”
“What’s
empty?”
“Besides
your head?”
Michel
went over to Duke and picked up the chocolate wrapper Duke was
sniffing at.
“Chocomallo!”
“I
didn’t know you could read,” Duke said, as he had a lie down.
“This
is Romain’s favourite chocolate bar. He always has one on him.”
“Only
one? Selfish boy. He should always carry two. Never know when you
might meet a very hungry Basset Hound.”’
Out
of your own characters, do you have a favourite?
I’m
fairly impartial however most people seem to love Duke, a sarcastic,
pompous, food-obsessed Basset Hound. He’s quick-witted, scathing,
rude and narcissistic - my kind of dog.
Do
you have any advice for other writers?
Throwing
cabbages is a great way to relieve stress.
What
do you do when you are not writing?
I
throw cabbages at my neighbour, Dieter and plan military attacks with
my army of slugs. I also drink an obscene amount of herbal tea.
If
you had to live in one of your books which book would it be?
My
books aren’t big enough to fit me and I wouldn’t be able to
breathe. Mr Snazzy would just wilt away! It would have to be a book
the size of a house but then why live in a book and not in a house?
An absurd idea!
What
was your favourite book when you were a kid?
‘How
to Brainwash Slugs’.
What's
the deal with slugs and cabbages?
The
deal is for a lifetime and includes a 5-minute break each year.
They’re also allowed to hold conventions in my hallway as part of
the deal. One slug tried to revolt and demand better conditions he’s
now resting comfortably at the bottom of a deep-fat fryer. The same
for the cabbages except they don’t require breaks or have the need
to hold conventions.
